How To Enjoy A Small Penis

Read about the author Alice Hunter

Much ado is made of the size of a man’s member, usually by men. It is associated with strength, courage, virility and sexual prowess in the hearts and minds of the male population. There are sayings like ‘big dick energy’ meaning confidence and self-assuredness. Yet are these really valid?

What is small?

The ‘average’ penis size is 5 inches erect and smaller flaccid, though they vary massively. If it’s more than 6.5 inches, you are in the top 5% of the world population. Historically, a smaller penis was seen as the sign of a refined and civilised man. The depictions of ancient Greek statues show very small penises. The only representations of a large phallus were saved for creatures like the hypersexual satyrs, and to depict lack of civility in the representations of ‘savages’.

This depiction changed with the commercialisation of widespread photography and pornography, where male actors were selected almost entirely for their unusual size (a quick scan of their looks and physique in the 1970s will show that these were not considered crucial elements) and this has made many men consider themselves sub-average, even if they are statistically quite well-endowed. A study showed that gay men have slightly larger penises on average, but the study data was self-reported and based on responses collected over half a century ago, so there’s probably not good evidence for that.

Many men on the swing scene and sex-positive scene have larger than average penises, but that’s likely to be rather self-selecting: If a man feels insecure about his penis size, he’s unlikely to attend a place where it will be on display naked next to those of other men.

There is a lot of mythology about race and size, but the average difference is actually quite small, the data is all over the place and, as with so many things, there is more variation in size between individuals within a race than between races.

Things that do not actually tell/ relate to penis size:

• Size of nose
• Size of hands and feet
• Confidence and attitude
• Sex drive
• Fertility
• Body hair

What does actually usually correlate with penis size:

• Overall body size
• The size of other penises in your family
• Height
• A close index to ring finger ratio (long ring finger)
• Testosterone levels during puberty

What do women really want?

Studies show that the majority of women prefer an average to slightly above average size, while many also prefer below average. Given the choice between too big (the upper quadrant of the curve) and below average, most women prefer below average. The reasons for this are clear- while a woman’s vagina can stretch and accommodate to a certain degree, it takes an advanced state of arousal to reach this capacity, and women vary in length and width too.

Some women suffer low libido or vaginismus, especially when they are afraid of pain, which can make the experience all the more physically and psychologically damaging if the size is beyond that they expect to enjoy.

The average woman’s vagina is just 3.7 inches deep unaroused, and can grip a pencil. Everything beyond this is stretching. For some men and women, the sight of a large penis can be arousing, but in much the same way as the sight of large breasts can be- ultimately, it doesn’t necessarily add anything tangible to the physicality of the sexual experience.

There are exceptions. There are some women who are not only very dependent on penetration for arousal and orgasm but require a feel of significant stretch to do so, and possibly stimulation of the A spot near the cervix. These, however, are in the minority, and far more women can orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone than penetration alone, regardless of size.

How to enjoy a small penis

Given the flexible anatomy of the vagina, there are many ways that a small penis can be better than a large one. Here are some of the ways:

Men with a large penis often think that this is their golden ticket to give pleasure. This means they overly rely on their size, then skip or minimise foreplay and don’t develop other sexual skills to the same extent as a man with a smaller penis. Men with a smaller penis are often happier to incorporate sex toys and vibrators into play, which makes for a much more exciting sexual experience.

A smaller penis can be used quite directly on the clitoris to stimulate or even create orgasm, with more accuracy than a large one. Even the smallest of penises can be used in this way.

Men with a smaller penis are often much harder when erect than those with a large penis – as the blood flow has less space to fill, it is often easier to get rock solid with a small penis than with a big-old water balloon one. This rigidity can help with stimulation of the g-spot, which is only about 2-3 inches deep on the front wall of the vagina or the P spot on a man, which is about 3-4 inches deep.

The sexual positions that suit a large and small penis are different. You may not be able to enter easily from the side, or with your partners legs pushed down if you are on top, but you can certainly thrust hip deep without worry from even the most penetrating of angles, feet behind the head, without poking and smashing the cervix (which many women find painful). Very well-endowed men often aren’t able to use the whole of their length, because the women simply can’t accommodate that much, and have to go quite gently and carefully, using only some of their length.

It’s not all about length. It’s quite possible to have a long, narrow penis or a short, girthy one. An upward sweep, the size and shape of the head and many other factors influence the penetration experience much more than length alone.

For some women, muscular tension in pubic area is necessary to reach climax. This means that penetration with a large penis, causing stretching and swelling, prevents orgasm unless they have one before the penetration begins.

Kegel exercises, designed to tone and tighten the pelvic area, can help a woman to achieve a tighter grip, as well as making orgasm easier and more intense. There are also devices women can use to help them tone and rejuvenate this area.

With a smaller penis, you are far more likely to find women amenable to trying things like anal or deep throating. In a double penetration or group situation, you’ll often be allocated the most taboo areas, while men with larger penises will be given the most capacious spaces instead. Some areas, on some women, are simply too tight to pleasurably fit something large. This varies from woman to woman, with some enjoying anal easily but only wanting a small object in their vagina, or the reverse. Some women don’t want a large penis anywhere!

Given like-for-like sexual activity, men with a small penis are less likely to cause physical trauma to their partner, which can create pain, UTIs, thrush and even bleeding or tearing. This means your partner will need less down-time to recover before you can go again!

You can always make a small penis larger, but you can’t make a large penis smaller. What does this mean? You can use a sheath or penis extender to temporarily make yourself feel bigger to your partner, if this is what they want as part of sexual play. You can wear a constriction ring to create a firmer, bigger erection. You can use a penis pump like the Bathmate Hydromax which can make your erections feel firmer and stronger. You can of course, also buy vibrators and toys in almost any size to use.

Does size matter?

There is an old saying, that it’s not the wand, but the wizard that waves it. Indeed, this over-focus on penis size has led to both a lot of very bad sex and a lot of male insecurity, based on nothing. Most partners are far less interested in the size and appearance of your package than they are the rest of you. Are you good looking? Are you charming? Are you kind? Are you talented? Are you clever?

In most circumstances, your penis is not going to be on display for the world to see, but your other qualities are. This is what attracts people to you and are what your partner is proud to show off about you. It’s what ultimately leads to a happy life, as well as a happy sex life. There is no penis in the world that will substitute for the rest of you. Consider it just one tool in your toolbox (no pun intended) and whatever your size, from porn-star to pinkie finger, you’ll be a better lover.

When your partner tells you they enjoy your penis, just as it is, believe them. Your partner doesn’t want to be just a life support system for a vagina (or mouth, hand or anus) and they don’t view you that way either. Reducing things to a single body part with a ‘bigger is better’ mentality obscures the reality of sex, and intimacy, and ultimately just leads to a focal point for insecurity. Every guy thinks he should be bigger. Even the world record holders. Your partner doesn’t think so. And that’s what matters.