Orgasms influence pillow talk

Read about the author Samantha Evans

Orgasms are not just great for your health and well being – they can have a positive impact upon communication.

A recent study by Denes at al (2014) from the University of Connecticut reveals that following having an orgasm with your partner, couples are more likely to open up and share information with each other. The conversation is generally more positive in nature too. Amanda Denes, Assistant Professor at the University of Connecticut and lead author of the study says: “Post-coital communication is linked with sexual and relationship satisfaction”.

The release of oxytocin following orgasm boosts the level of this feel good hormone which is linked to a greater sense of trust and decreased feelings of threat. It also lowers cortisol levels, a stress hormone, thus reducing anxiety. The overall feeling of trust and decreased stress can create an environment in which couples feel safe and happy to disclose more intimate information to each other.

The research found, that, contrary to popular belief, drinking alcohol did not make couples divulge their most intimate thoughts but often made them say things they wish they had kept to themselves.

According to Tamara Afifi, Professor from the University of Iowa, and co-author of the study, alcohol is a ‘downer’ and oxytocin is an’ upper’, having opposite effects upon behaviour. Failing to have an orgasm after drinking alcohol can lead to even greater feelings of negativity. The study suggests that having an orgasm may counteract the negative effects of drinking alcohol has on communication after sexual intercourse. It also found that people who regularly drink alcohol before having sex may develop patterns of communication which interfere with positive post-coital pillow talk.

Often when people drink before having sex, they fall asleep immediately afterwards due to the effects of alcohol, making pillow talk impossible.