Release Your Inner Dominatrix
Read about the author Samantha Evans
Have you ever fantasized about strutting around in sexy lingerie or in costume with your partner at your complete sexual mercy?
Experimenting with domination and submission during sex is fun. Most people either like to take charge or be taken control of in the bedroom, but it doesn’t always have to be the same person who taking the lead. Many partners love it when they are dominated by their partner and plenty of people get a huge thrill out of dominating their partner.
Read on to find out how to release the inner dominatrix within you and spice up your sex life as well as shock and surprise your partner at the same time.
Communication
Communication plays a huge role in domination and submission sex. Knowing what your partner likes and what need is essential to avoid any misunderstanding during sex. Before you begin, find out exactly what your partner really wants from dominant and submissive role play. Set a safe word for both of you before you begin, choosing a word that neither of you would use during sex. You will both know when to stop immediately when this word is spoken.
When you know exactly what your partner wants and what you are going to do to him, don’t let them make any contribution to what you are doing: you are in control, not them.
Do what I say
Only allow your partner to do what you tell him to do, from taking off their clothes to touching you, from going faster to slowing down. You can use creative dominant dirty talk but by just making your demands and telling your partner what to do can feel naughty too.
You could ban all talk from them and punish them with spanking if they disobeys you. If they do utter a sound, you can withhold any pleasurable sensations you are giving, this type of teasing is a great form of power play and will have them desperately wanting to beg you to continue.
Yes, Mistress
Letting your partner know that they are at your mercy can be a real turn on so make sure they know that you are in charge and make them address you appropriately. Incorporate titles into your role play. Give yourself a title. If your partner forgets to use your title, punish them by a quick spanking or get him to perform oral sex on you. They will be unlikely to forget in a hurry but will turn them on at the same time.
Tie me up, tie me down
By restraining your partner, you can turn them into your sex slave. Tying up your partner will instantly make them feel submissive and vulnerable which, in turn, will make you feel more powerful.
Invest in comfortable handcuffs, preferably with ties or easy to slip off silicone, not lock and key. Losing the key will swiftly kill the mood and is not conducive to kinky sex! You don’t even have to use handcuffs, anything that is restrictive will do the job just as well, so maybe use their tie, silk scarves or even your knickers, be as imaginative as you can. Release them if they wants to be untied: there is nothing more off putting than an unwilling sex slave.
Take your time with taunting them, gently touch him with feather like caresses or even use a feather tickler lubricate their penis, clitoris or vagina with a good lubricant and tease them to the point of ecstasy but deny them orgasm. You could just let them watch you strip and masturbate in front of them. Use a vibrator to show them what you like. Most partners will adore having their own sex show performed by their partner. Being in charge can bring out the exhibitionist in you so show off your great assets. Performing in front of your partner may give them ideas of what you like when you release them and can lead to revelations about you or your partner you could never have imagined.
Try a vibrating cock ring on htheir penis: not only will it make them bigger for you to enjoy but it may make him feel less threatened by sex toys when he realises that you can both get so much pleasure out of a sex toy at the same time. You could wear a strap on and enjoy penetrating your partner too.
Deprive his senses
Use a soft but effective blindfold to heighten their senses as well as giving you the edge to really go to town with your taunting. Removing their sense of vision will mean they won’t see that ice cube or feather tickler coming or know what that restriction around their penis is, making him really hard, the pleasurble sensations buzzing through their clitoris or being penetrated with a big sex toy. You can feed food to them, allowing it to trickle down their chin so you can kiss it off or get them to taste you from your fingers.
Mastering great oral sex, be that on a penis or vulva and vagina is a skill everyone should have and especially pleasurable when deprived of your sight.
Drip warm massage oil from a massage candle onto their chest or breasts and slowly rub it around his nipples to make them hard. Try some nipple suckers or clamps for exquisite nipple play.Whisper what you are going to do, don’t let them talk or demand anything. Maximising all their other senses whilst being totally helpless will make the sex unlike anything you have ever had.
Even indulge in wax play, dripping warm wax over their breasts, chest, back and buttocks. Try temperature play with glass and metal toys too.
Control their orgasm
Having taken control of them physically, it is time to ramp up your experience. Control lies in your hands and that includes their orgasm. Experiment with sexual power by making them beg for permission to orgasm. Play sex toy over their clitoris to edge them towards their orgasms then deny it to them, time and time again. Being a dominatrix is not about their pleasure but yours. Use their body to fulfil your needs and experience amazing orgasms.
However you tap into your inner dominatrix, submission and domination can bond couples in a different and sometimes even more exciting way than just sex. As you play out some of your fantasies, you may find yourself become closer to your partner. Hopefully they will have taken notice of what you did and use some of your skills and techniques to heighten both your sexual pleasure during intercourse next time as well as open up the pathway to new sexual adventures in the future.