Sex and Breast Cancer

Read about the author Samantha Evans

Receiving a diagnosis of breast cancer can be devastating and hard to digest. Thousands of women go through this ordeal every year successfully, but the disease or effects of treatment can affect their sexuality and ability to return to satisfying sexual intercourse. Understanding what is happening to their bodies, simple changes to the way in which they see themselves and how they have sex can benefit the sex lives of women after breast cancer and help them to enjoy a fulfilling relationship and to make new relationships again.

Research from Breast Cancer Care (2018) has found that eight in 10 women diagnosed with breast cancer say they are unhappy with their sex lives after undergoing treatment. 83% of those surveyed had been diagnosed over three years ago, suggesting that some women continue to struggle for a long time without support.

Yet, this does not need to be the case when help is available.

Recovering from breast cancer can leave many women feeling unattractive, suffering from low libido and experiencing decreased sexual satisfaction. Many women report sexual problems after completing their treatment, either as a result of the treatment or physical changes in their bodies. Any form of cancer can impact upon a person’s sexuality, but it can be more problematic after breast cancer because the breasts are intimately connected with sexual attractiveness and erotic play.

It is important to include those women who develop secondary breast cancer which is treatable but not curable. Many people believe that it comes back in the breast; however, this is not the case, it appears in other areas within the body, and they require ongoing treatment which can impact upon sexual intimacy, pleasure and relationships, so need support and practical advice to help them enjoy sex.

Some women feel uncomfortable being naked in front of their partner or feel discomfort when touched by their partner, either on the site of their surgery or in their genital area, often as a result of chemotherapy and drug therapy which can make these parts of the body sensitive or painful. However, this does not need to be a problem, as there are many ways in which a woman can begin to feel sexy again with the right help and support from partners and medical professionals.

It is important to realise that getting back to sex after treatment is a gradual process that cannot be rushed. Taking your time and going at your own pace will ensure higher success at returning to normal sexual activity.

“Sex can feel like a work in progress during breast cancer treatment and beyond, so take your time and have some fun too”

You may find it becomes more pleasurable as you explore different ways to enjoy sexual intimacy.

Communication

As in any relationship, this is the key to success between couples. The way in which you communicate with each other is important: often, one partner will highlight a problem or issue that the other partner has never considered or may consider to be trivial. It is not always easy to talk about sex, but finding the right environment for both of you is essential. You need to consider how you share sexual pleasure and what has changed within your relationship.

Explore new ways of sexual intimacy, such as sex without intercourse, using sex toys or bondage to explore each other’s bodies, reading erotic fiction or watching films to increase arousal. Tell each other what feels good and what is uncomfortable or painful.

Physical changes to your body

Breasts play an important part during sex, especially if you enjoy having them stimulated. Losing a breast or changes to a breast through surgery and radiotherapy can impact upon the way you feel about being a woman and your sexual satisfaction. Your partner may be affected by the way in which you look if they gain sexual pleasure from the look or feel of your breasts.

Following surgery, your breast may feel more sensitive or may have areas of numbness. It can be helpful to your partner if you tell them where and how you would like to be touched, or even guide their hand, so they know how to touch you and what pressure they can use. Scar tissue may feel very sensitive or numb so guide your partner in how you want to be touched and let them know if you would prefer no to be touched in this area.

If you do not like having your breasts touched, try other parts of your body such as the neck, ears, lips, thighs and genitals for sexual stimulation. Try massaging each other with scented oils or take a long, hot bath, soaping each other all over. Sex toys, feathers, silky scarves, textured gloves, ice cubes are all great ways to create different sensations across your skin, on nipples, on the back of the neck, up and down the spine.These simple techniques can help you to reconnect sexually.

The way you look

Being in a relationship or single, many women mourn the loss of their breast, others rejoice that it has gone with their cancer. Feeling self-conscious about the way you look is common, but many people do not even realise that you have undergone a mastectomy. Confronting the physical changes to your body is important and will enable you to feel confident about how you look. For those in a relationship, involving your partner can help too.

Some women choose to wear a prosthesis in their bra before having reconstructive surgery. The choice of underwear for women who have had a mastectomy is wide, and your breast care nurse can put you in contact with a specialist underwear advisor trained in helping you find the most suitable lingerie. Many women have breast reconstruction soon after surgery and find it enhances their quality of life. Others choose to use prostheses and underwear.

RecoBra has been designed by Nicole de Havilland. She has worked within the breast cancer patient industry as a therapist for over twenty years. Nicole came up with the idea of a seamless recovery bra when her patients expressed disappointment that they could not find a suitable bra to wear immediately following breast surgery. Many bras are inappropriate and have seams which cause skin irritation and broken skin. Recobra addresses the specific needs of post-operative recovery.

Choosing pretty lingerie can really help your self-esteem and body image. There are several specialist lingerie websites, including Lovemeandmysecret that have gorgeous bras and matching knickers, especially for post mastectomy. There are several companies that offer great swimwear too. Cleverly designed, many feel comfortable to wear and look feminine too.

If you are used to wearing low cut tops, you may feel self-conscious and wish to change the way in which you dress, but there are many great clothes which can still make you feel feminine. Breast reconstruction can enhance your figure, and you may end up with better breasts than you used to have!

You can have your nipple tattooed onto your new breast or if it has been removed. Some women have their breasts tattooed with incredible designs which look amazing.

Weight gain

Gaining weight can often be a result of treatment, being less active or eating more when you feel anxious. This can lead to low self-esteem, but changing your eating habits and taking regular exercise such as walking can help control weight gain, improve your overall sense of well-being and speed up your recovery.

If in a relationship, your partner may enjoy your new curves, hopefully boosting your sex life, or they may encourage you in lose weight by joining you in your new exercise and diet regime.

New research published in Canadian Medical Association Journal (2017) highlights that physical activity and avoiding weight gain are the most important lifestyle choices that can reduce the risk of cancer recurrence.

Some NHS trusts offer a 6-week exercise programme after treatment to help you return to exercise safely, but this is not widely available across the UK.

Great Manchester Sport offers Fit After Cancer Treatment, a group designed to support cancer patients with physical, mental and emotional fitness once their treatment is complete.

Jo Taylor from ABC Diagnosis piloted the first Breast Cancer Retreat in Yorkshire which included Yoga, Walking/Nordic walking, Running, Cycling, Relaxation & possible therapies, and how to deal with menopause, all with trained professionals which received a great response. You’ll find more details about future retreats on her website.

5k Your Way, Move Against Cancer is a supportive community that inspires and empowers people impacted by cancer to live an active & fulfilling lifestyle. You can find meet ups and support groups around the UK

Hair loss

Not everyone loses their hair when undergoing cancer treatment – it depends on what type of drugs are being used. Hair loss can be a distressing side effect of chemotherapy, but it is always temporary and hair usually grows back after treatment has stopped. Some people even find that their hair is thicker than before.

Using a wig may help, and there are many companies, who provide suitable wigs for people undergoing chemotherapy.

If you find a wig uncomfortable, try wearing hats or scarves. HipHeadWear offers stylish, comfortable headwear for everyday wear, special occasions and when exercising too.

Dying your hair is not recommended during cancer treatment but using vegetable dyes is suitable. Some women lose their eyebrows, which can be distressing, but using make – up or semi-permanent make up can help.

Skincare

Cancer treatments can impact upon your skin, making it feel dry, itchy and sore. Jennifer Young created Beauty Despite Cancer, a skincare range that specialise in skin care products designed for people who have had cancer to prevent irritation. They also offer great nail care products too, as these often fall off or become brittle after treatment.

Loss of libido

Many women being treated for breast cancer find that their libido reduces or disappears completely as a result of their treatment, prolonged fatigue, physical changes to their body, lack of confidence about the way their body looks after surgery or constant worry and anxiety about their diagnosis, treatment and future. Take time to explore what works for you sexually, and seek medical advice if you feel that the problem is not resolving itself. Many drugs for breast cancer can impact upon your libido, and a simple change in your drug therapy may reduce any unpleasant side effects.

Exploring a simple bullet vibrator and using skin safe irritant free lubricants like YES organic lubricants or Sutil Luxe can be a simple way to begin to feel sexual, something we often recommend to anyone experiencing low libido. Try playing with the bullet vibrator alone even if you do not feel sexual because it will feel pleasurable, it takes little effort just to lie back, relax and gently play the vibrator over your clitoris. You can even use it whilst relaxing in the bath. Once you feel more confident, you can introduce your bullet to a partner, show them how you like to use it, let them use it on your clitoris, play it over their body, nipples, penis, clitoris and have some fun.

Air pulse and sonic wave toys are great products to help to boost your arousal as they gently tease and caress the clitoris into submission, promoting blood flow and pleasurable sensations to your clitoris and inside your vagina. Being waterproof, they are fun to use whilst relaxing in the bath or shower and are a good way to help you to get in the mood for sex play

Menopausal symptoms

Many of the side effects of cancer treatments can bring about symptoms of the menopause can be distressing. Hot flushes, night sweats, vaginal atrophy and vaginal dryness can affect your sexual intimacy, pleasure relationships.

Some women are unable to take hormone replacement therapy; however, there are alternative medications to ease some symptoms, so ask your oncologist, CNS or GP. YES organic lubricants and vaginal moisturiser and SUTIL Luxe and Rich are completely hormone free. Made from botanical and organic ingredients which are good for your intimate health, these the best skin safe irritant free products you can use to improve vagina health and make sex feel pleasurable.

The impact of menopausal symptoms can be difficult for any woman, but especially younger women who are often put into a surgical or medical menopause overnight, especially when they may be surrounded by family and friends who may not understand the menopause. The Young Womens Breast Cancer blogspot is a great support group, connecting younger women going through treatment and beyond, providing a valuable network of people going through the same experience

Trekstock is a fabulous cancer charity we work with, for young people aged 16-40 which offers a huge amount of advice, support and events. I contributed to their excellent Navigating Menopause online course, which you can sign up to on their website

Infertility

The stress of having a cancer diagnosis, then undergoing surgery to remove your breast and cancer treatment is extremely stressful and this can impact upon your sex life.

Cancer doesn’t know your age, and many younger women have breast cancer. For younger women, treatment may mean they are unable to have children or any more children, creating anxiety and stress. More advice is needed for younger women about their fertility and what options are available to them to preserve their fertility.

This is often overlooked or considered an afterthought when younger women have a cancer diagnosis, but being unable to have children affects both your physical and mental health, which in turn, impacts upon recovery and quality of life post treatment.

A survey by Breast Cancer Care (2016) found that 53% of younger women were not given the chance to discuss the possible impact of their treatment on fertility, despite national guidelines recommending younger women should be offered fertility preservation before starting breast cancer treatment.

A new Psycho-Oncology analysis of the published literature (2017) indicates that many cancer patients are not receiving support for fertility sparing choices or advice, and recommends that all cancer patients of reproductive age should be provided with fertility information and referrals for fertility preservation. One of the reasons is that oncologists may lack appropriate fertility knowledge and be unsure whose role it is to provide fertility support.

www.cancerandfertility.co.uk has been set up by Becki McGuinness, who was left infertile by aggressive cancer treatment when she was just 23-years-old. Now in her 30s, she launched a national campaign to ensure women facing cancer are given all the fertility options she should have been offered, which would have preserved her fertility.

Discussing all your fertility options before treatment is important, such as freezing your eggs or egg donation, and your consultant or Oncology Nurse Specialist will be able to offer help and advice as to what you can do.

The Young Womens Breast Cancer Blog offers so much support for younger women going through breast cancer.

Intimacy Matters

Sex is so much more than penetration, and many people enjoy sex in a variety of ways. You don’t have to dive straight into full sex play with your partner. Getting back to enjoying intimacy together is a great place to start. Cuddling, kissing, massage, talking to each other can help to start your journey back to reclaiming your sex life.

Discover those erogenous zones, that gentle kiss on the nape of your neck, a warm breath in your ear, the lightest of touch along the side of your torso or down your thighs, that ticklish place behind your knees (or is that just me?) Your skin is the biggest organ in the body and the most erogenous, so explore what works for you. Using silky ribbons, feathers, temperature play with ice cubes, who knows where you’ll find your favourite erogenous zones?

Reading erotica can be fun, as can listening to audio porn to get you in the mood. Girl On The Net, Ferly and Dipsea are all great places to listen to erotic stories solo or with a partner

Sex Is Much More Than Penetration

Being creative with your sex play can be fun and a way to get back to enjoying penetrative sex, if that is the way you enjoy sex.

Masturbation is so good for your health and especially during menopause because it promotes the blood flow to the vagina and vulva and increases your natural lubrication. It boosts your immunity, reduces stress, helps you sleep, eases pain, helps you to connect with a partner, increases your chance of enjoying an orgasm during penetrative sex, it connects you with your own sexuality, it’s safe so no risk of getting a sexual transmitted infection or pregnant, it’s free, hassle-free, pleasurable and lots of fun solo or with a partner!

Masturbation is so good for your physical and mental wellbeing, many healthcare professionals would prescribe sex and masturbation if they could, including those we work with at Jo Divine!

Try masturbating each other using your fingers, sex toys or with your tongue. Using YES or SUTIL makes it feel even more pleasurable and especially if you experience vaginal dryness

Invest in a sex toy for yourself and your partner, so you can both enjoy the pleasures of masturbation. Try a simple bullet vibrator or clitoral vibrator or male masturbator such as a Fleshlight or Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo which is great when penetrative sex is not possible because it enables couples to simulate sexual intercourse.

Watching your partner or being watched whilst playing with a toy or masturbating can be really arousing.

If single or in a relationship, solo play is ideal for relaxing and helping you enjoy sexual pleasure, switching everything off around you and concentrating on all the gorgeous sensations coursing through your body. A bit of self-love benefits everyone, reduces stress, decreases pain and can help you to enjoy a better night’s sleep too.

Love Lube!

Vaginal dryness and irritation is a common issue post treatment, which makes sex feel painful sexual intercourse. However, you need to be an ingredients detective when choosing a sexual lubricant, as the vast majority contain irritating ingredients which can cause thrush and exacerbate vaginal dryness and atrophy. This is why it is important to use an irritant free lubricant can help

It’s essential to be aware of the ingredients of your lubricant as some chemicals can cause thrush even some available on prescription, and also ensure that you’re using a product that is designed for internal use, not store cupboard or bathroom cupboard products.

Many people may be new to using a lubricant and are unsure how they incorporate it into their sex play, so this article may be helpful.

YES organic lubricants are odourless, tasteless and feel sensuous on the skin and don’t leave sticky residues behind.

They offer nourishing qualities that are kind to the skin, rapidly relieving dryness and discomfort, and are pH balanced to maintain good vaginal health.

Using an oil-based lubricant first and applying a water-based one on the top creates a double glide affect, which feels more comfortable and can help sex last longer.

However, oil-based lubricants are not condom compatible, so stick to water-based lubricant if you are using them.

SUTIL LUXE is a silky smooth water-based lubricant that moisturises, nourishes and soothes our most intimate areas, as well as lubricating for sexual pleasure. This fabulous water-based lubricant gently cushions and glides, blending seamlessly with your own natural lubrication during sex, making you feel more lubricated, which feels very natural. Being water-based, it is easy to wash off too.

Free from irritating ingredients and hormone free, it is perfect post treatment, not only as a sexual lubricant but also as a vaginal moisturiser and can be used with any sex toy, dilator and condoms.

If you want a longer lasting lube that is condom compatible, SUTIL Rich is ideal. Designed with a pH suitable for both anal and vaginal use, the new “Rich” formulation has enhanced viscosity to ease anal penetration and soothe dry, delicate tissues.

SUTIL Rich contains small amounts of Horny Goat Weed — a herbal aphrodisiac — that is added, along with Siberian Ginseng and Jujube nut. Traditionally, these herbs are used to increase strength, energy, stamina and vitality, but they also help to boost immune functions and have natural antibiotic and antiseptic properties to fight infection. Horny Goat Weed is also a vasodilator, which promotes blood flow and increases natural lubrication.

Depending on your sensitivity, you may feel a warm, slightly tingly sensation when using SUTIL Rich and if you are new to SUTIL we would recommend trying SUTIL Luxe first (or trying both – we have 10ml testers of both available).

Made with eco – certified ingredients, SUTIL is committed to creating natural and organic cosmetics that are not only great for your skin, but also derived from renewable resources and manufactured using environmentally friendly processes.

Some people prefer a silicone lubricant which feel more slippery and can be used with condoms, making it a great alternative to oil-based lubricants. Silicone lubricants should not be used with silicone sex toys as they can damage the material of the toy.

Your vagina needs moisturising just like your face

The tissues of your vulva and vagina age like the rest of your body and need TLC to keep them happy and healthy, especially post treatment, so you can keep enjoying great sex. Cancer treatment affects the level of oestrogen in the tissues of the vulva and vagina and this can make them feel less well lubricated and dry, they can shrink leading to vaginal tightness, making sex play, smear tests and pelvic examinations uncomfortable or painful. They can become irritated, itchy, sore, and you may experience infections such as thrush and bacterial vaginosis.

Trans men and non-binary people who use testosterone can really benefit from using a good hormone free vagina moisturiser to ease any vaginal symptoms. I’ve included Queer Menopause below, an excellent resource for LGBTQIA+ and Menopause.

So, what should you use to moisturise your vulva and vagina? Ingredients matter when it comes to your intimate health, you need to avoid irritating ingredients widely used in some very well – known vaginal moisturisers, even on prescription and high street own brands which include glycerin, glycols, parabens, perfumes, dyes, alcohol and petroleum jelly. YESVM and SUTIL and SUTIL Rich are irritant free vaginal moisturisers that can really help your intimate health.

Sex should never be painful

The impact of cancer treatments upon the body can leave your vagina feeling tight, making penetrative uncomfortable or painful. Many women are advised to use medical dilators to help them stretch the tissues of the vagina, but often find these uncomfortable or feel too clinical as they are made from hard plastic.

The fabulous Liz O’Riorden, breast surgeon who had breast cancer and co-author of “The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer: How to Feel Empowered” recommends getting yourself a “bag of tricks” or Intimacy Bag including silicone dilators, a simple bullet vibrator, a sonic wave toy and YES/Sutil lubricants and moisturisers.

A gentler alternative to medical dilators, the Inspire Silicone Dilator Kit offers 5 graduated dilators made from velvety soft silicone which are extremely flexible, unlike hard medical dilators and very gentle on the delicate skin of the vulva and vagina. The easy to use loop handle makes them comfortable to hold, and the gentle tapered shape and varied sizes allows you to increase the insertion size at a rate that is comfortable to you.

Many women combine the use of the Inspire Dilators with the Jo Divine IMMY as it can be used for clitoral stimulation to help relaxation of the vagina whilst using the dilator, and it slips into the loop handle which in turn, makes the dilators vibrate. The vibrations promote blood flow to the tissues of the vagina and stimulates the nerves to help sexual sensation too.

It is also ideal to use during foreplay on yourself or a partner to maintain intimacy.

Some people prefer to use dilators to overcome vaginal tightness rather than a vibrator; However, some prefer to use a vibrator, which feels less clinical. Many women want to feel sexual again after undergoing months of medical treatment and surgical intervention, and for them, using a vibrator is a way to enjoy sexual pleasure and intimacy once more and it’s more fun too!

Both medical dilators and vibrators can be used with each other, as they offer different experiences for many women. Medical dilators can help to stretch the tight tissues of the vagina, whilst a vibrator can promote blood flow and sensation and feels pleasurable too, especially on the clitoris.

The OhNut is a fabulous device, designed to be worn on a penis or on a vibrator. It acts as a buffer to prevent deep penetration and is especially useful for those with a more well-endowed partner

Pelvic Health Physio can really help

We work with many pelvic health physios who help people to regain their pelvic floor function which can be affected post treatment, so they can enjoy pleasurable sex. They recommend our products, including the Inspire Dilator kit, the IMMY, the OhNut and our sexual lubricants

You can ask your oncologist/CNS or GP to refer you, you can self refer or find one in private practice (details below in resources) You may find that your cancer centre has a pelvic health physio you can ask to be referred to.

There are many pelvic floor gadgets you can buy, including pelvic floor exercisers ; however, we always advise people to see a pelvic health physio before purchasing these products. Your physio may recommend a suitable product, including some of our products, for you to use at home, so please seek advice before you buy any product. Using these products without guidance may exacerbate your issues, especially if you have hypertonic or tight pelvic floor muscles

Have Your Orgasms Changed?

Breast cancer treatment can affect the way in which you experience orgasms. You may find it more difficult to orgasm as a result of your ability to become aroused due to anxiety, low libido, fatigue, fear that sex will be painful and the way you now view your body. Drug therapy can cause decreased sensation during sexual arousal, affecting how long it takes you to reach orgasm or the intensity.

Whether you are single or in a relationship, using sex toys can help increase sexual stimulation, help you achieve sexual pleasure in other ways through solo play and couples sex and are really fun to use.

Many sex toys help women to relax and can create a different sexual experience. Getting your partner to use a sex toy on you can help you to connect, even when penetrative sex is not possible. Incorporating a sex toy into your sex play is fun and can help to alleviate any worries or fear about getting back into sex again, they are great to play with a partner or just for solo pleasure.

When penetrative sex is possible, using clitoral stimulators on your clitoris can help increase your sexual pleasure and hopefully lead to an orgasm.

Some people may find their orgasms feel less powerful, or they struggle to have one. If you experience less than satisfactory orgasms or find they just disappear, invest in a skin safe sex toy, such as a clitoral stimulator, rabbit vibe or sonic wave toy like the LELO Sona 2 as mentioned above.

For same-sex couples, take it slowly with sex toys for penetration if you find it painful, perhaps switching to a slim product to begin with, rather than your regular go to sex toy.

Pain, numbness or sensitivity during sex

Pain from scar tissue will slowly resolve following surgery, and teaching your partner to be gentle with you can help, guiding them where to touch you and what pressure to use. Many partners feel anxious about touching their partners for fear of causing pain and will be more than happy to be told what feels good and where to avoid.

Take pain medication before having sex to help ease any discomfort. Try experimenting with different sex positions if it feels uncomfortable – using pillows can help support you. This can be great fun as you explore what works for you. Lying side by side in a spooning position feels very intimate and will place less pressure on your body, as being on top.

Using a small sex toy during sex can help you both achieve sexual pleasure. A vibrating cock ring such as the Je Joue Mio can bring pleasure to both you and your partner if worn when you are on top. The vibrations will stimulate both your clitoris and their penis at the same time, ideal if reduced sensation is a problem.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 and LELO Sona2 are not vibrators, they use air pulse wave technology which gently caresses and teases the clitoris. This means there is less chance of feeling desensitised, which can happen when you use a classic vibrator for long periods of time. They are also great toys for those with decreased sexual sensation post treatment, as they have a wide range of settings, so you are sure to find one that works for you.

Fatigue

Fatigue is a common side effect of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The key is to take things at your own pace: you can take a less active role during sex. Taking it slowly may increase your sexual arousal more, and by exploring new sexual techniques, you may discover areas of sexual pleasure you have never experienced before.

If you feel physically drained in the evening, try having morning sex or sex during the day. Even quickie sex can be fun and may reduce your fatigue. By slowly increasing the amount of physical activity you do, you may have more energy for sex.

Lymphoedema

Lymphoedema is swelling of the arm, hand or breast due to a build up of lymphatic fluid in the tissues. It is a long-term condition which can be controlled by medication and physio. If you feel uncomfortable, try different sexual positions. Take your medication beforehand to give it time to work. Talk to your partner about how you feel, and guide them to touch you in a way which causes the least discomfort.

Seek advice from a specialist physiotherapist who is trained in lymphatic drainage, which can ease pain and discomfort.

Muscle tightness and cording

Known as cording, some women develop scar tissue in the armpit which forms a tight band. Usually, this can occur around 6-8 weeks post-operatively. Although harmless, cording feels similar to a guitar string and can be uncomfortable.

A specialist physiotherapist can teach you how to massage the area to help increase the movement in your arms and shoulders.

Your partner

Often, the feelings of the partner are neglected in our haste to reassure the women with breast cancer, but the disease affects both her partner and her family. Some partners embrace what is happening and fully support their loved one, whilst others struggle to cope with their feelings about what is going on. Accepting what has happened and involving your partner can help them to understand what is happening and enable them to support you.

They may take on the role as protector to shield you from further harm, which could make your relationship feel claustrophobic and lead to conflict. They may not want to have sex because they are anxious about hurting you. As mentioned above, good communication can help allay any negative feelings either of you are having about sex and your relationship.

It may be helpful to seek help from counsellors or speak to the breast cancer care nurse. Finding new ways to enjoy sex can be fun but sometimes daunting, especially if you do not feel comfortable talking about sex. You may find that your cancer centre/oncology department has a psychosexual therapist, so ask to be referred. You can also find a private psychosexual therapist at COSRT who has a list of accredited practitioners

We also work with several psychosexual therapists too.

A new relationship

Looking for or starting a new relationship can be difficult, and you may feel anxious about becoming intimate. Meeting someone new, you may find it difficult to tell them your experience, but most people understand. If they struggle with this, perhaps they aren’t the right one for you.

As you get to know your new partner, you will feel more comfortable, and you may find it easier to broach the subject. They may be initially shocked at your news, and it could take time for them to adjust to the situation. On the other hand, they may be very accepting of your history and the way you look. They may also have experienced something similar in their past, so will offer support.

Many women return to having a normal sex life after undergoing treatment for breast cancer, but some women still experience sexual problems. Changing the way in which you view your body and how you have sex can help. If you continue to have sexual problems, it is important to seek help from a suitable healthcare professional, who may recommend counselling or couples’ therapy.

At Jo Divine we believe that sexual health and sexual pleasure go hand in hand and have created a health brochure with suitable products to help people with sexual issues. Working with medical and other healthcare professionals, we hope to encourage patients and HCPs alike to talk more freely about sexual problems. A health issue doesn’t mean your sex life will have to stop!

Breast Cancer and Men

Breast cancer doesn’t just affect women but men too. They also experience many of the psychological and physical symptoms and side effects from treatment and surgery that women do. There are about 350 men diagnosed each year in the UK, compared with around 50,000 cases of breast cancer in women. The symptoms, diagnosis and treatment are all very similar to women with breast cancer. but it isn’t often talked about, and many men struggle to get the same support that women do.

Male Breast Cancer coalition offers help, support and advice to men who have or have had breast cancer and their families : malebreastcancercoalition.org

Macmillan also has a booklet – Understanding breast cancer in men

Helpful blogs

There are some remarkable women blogging about their experience of breast cancer and these are just 2 of my favourites who offer practical advice to the many women who have breast cancer.

The fabulous Jo Taylor who created ABC Diagnosis to support primary and secondary breast cancer patients, help them make informed choices with information and up-to-date news on treatments, breast surgeries, consultants, hospital and useful links.

Jo Taylor has also been involved in the creation of METUPUK the first support group to help those with secondary/metastatic breast cancer.

Dr Liz O’Riordan and Woman of the Year

Liz is a former breast surgeon who has had breast cancer and gives TEDx talks to educate healthcare professionals, other women and their partners. She has also written a really informative book with Professor Trisha Greenhalgh who has also had breast cancer book – The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer: How to Feel Empowered and Take Control. She recommends having a bag of tricks including silicone dilators, a small vibrator and YES organic lubricants and vaginal moisturisers to help regain sexual function and to enjoy sexual intimacy and pleasure.
Liz has also written her memoir, Under the Knife

Sara Liyanage was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 42 and created TickingOffBreastCancer to help other women, their partners, family, friends and work colleagues navigate their way through this journey and beyond, offering practical advice, useful websites and resources. She has also written a book Ticking Off Breast Cancer

Podcasts

Samantha has been invited to join several podcasts about cancer, menopause and sex which you can find here

Don’t Ignore The Elephant with Dr Liz O’Riordan
RadChat with Naman Julka Anderson and Jo McNamara
Menopause and Cancer with Dani Binnington and Dr Charlotte Gooding

Helpful Reading

Dr Kathleen Thompson has documented her journey through having breast cancer in her book, offering advice, tips which can help so many other women negotiate the changes to their life both physically and mentally that having a diagnosis of breast cancer can bring. She has written about the dos and don’ts of her treatment, things that she wished she had said or done, things she did say and do and how she became an expert, as do so many people when they have a cancer diagnosis.

From Both Ends of the Stethoscope: Getting through breast cancer-by a doctor who knows – Dr Kathleen Thompson, published by Faito Books (4 Jan. 2016) available on kindle and in paperback

Useful Websites and Support Groups

Breast Cancer Care : www.breastcancercare.org.uk
Breast Cancer Chat WorldWide :@bccww
Breast Cancer Chat Ireland :@bccire
Young Womens Breast Cancer blogspot : www.youngwomensbreastcancerblog.blogspot.co.uk
Pink Ribbon Foundation : www.pinkribbonfoundation.org.uk
CoppaFeel : www.coppafeel.org
Prevent Breast Cancer :www.preventbreastcancer.org.uk
Asian Breast Cancer : www.bmecancer.com
Make 2nds Count: www.make2ndscount.co.uk
Trekstock :www.trekstock.com
The Daisy Network :www.daisynetwork.org.uk
The Dovecote:www.thedovecote.org
Fertility and Cancer : www.cancerandfertility.co.uk
Queer Menopause : www.queermenopause.com
College of Sex and Relationship Therapists : www.cosrt.org.uk
Jennifer Young : www.beautydespitecancer.co.uk
RecoBra : www.recoheart.com/recobra-story
LoveMeAndMySecret :www.lovemeandmysecret.com
HipHeadWear : www.hipheadwear.co.uk
Pelvic, Obstetric and Gynaecology Physiotherapy:https://pogp.csp.org.uk/
SimPal : www.yoursimpal.com