My partner’s penis is too small

Read about the author Samantha Evans

Many men obsess over the size of their penis whatever their age, from the changing room at secondary school to the changing room at the gym. There are many myths concerning penis size, leading to some men being insecure, as well as having body image and performance issues.

This age old question is asked constantly, causing anxiety for men who worry that their penis size is not satisfying for their partner. However, recently the BJU International Journal of Urology 2015 found that only 2.28% of men have what is to be considered as an abnormally small penis.

Size does matter to some women, but the majority are quite happy with what they’ve got. Even though many surveys show that women aren’t concerned about how big their partner’s penis is, many men worry about their size.

A study of over 14,000 men and women by Dr Kristen Mark, Assistant professor of Health Promotion at University of Kentucky, revealed that it’s not about your size, but what you do with it. He found that 45% of men wanted a bigger penis, yet 66% of all respondents agreed that size didn’t matter, whereas performance and creativity did.

Recent research from UCLA and Cal State LA (2014) found that 84% of women feel “very satisfied” with their man’s penis size, 14% wished it was bigger and 25% would prefer their partner to have a smaller penis. The survey was completed by 26,437 women aged between 18-65, and while it was a self selected group, it was large enough to allay concerns about demographic representation.

For many, the concern for them was the duration of sexual intercourse, not penis size. Many women wished that sexual intercourse would last longer, as it often left them unsatisfied. Moreover, 45% of men said they didn’t last as long as they’d like to, leaving their partners sexually unfulfilled.

So what can you do if your partner has a small penis?

If you aren’t being sexually satisfied by the size of your partner, before suggesting surgery, consider his diet and lifestyle as these can impact upon sexual function, penis size and firmness. Using a penis pump and cock ring are non invasive and can improve size and firmness of erections too.

Non invasive ways to increase the size of your penis

Lose weight

Being overweight can make a man’s penis appear shorter as fat accumulates in the lower abdomen. According to Dr Ira Shalip, clinical professor of urology at the University of California, this can affect the apparent size of the penis. A large pre-pubic fat pad can make the penile shaft look shorter, effectively burying the penis.

Many men will gain at least an inch in size by simply losing weight.

A poor diet can cause heart attacks due to fatty deposits sticking to the lining of the arteries around the heart, restricting blood flow in the coronary arteries and can also impede the blood flow to and within the penis, preventing it from becoming erect.

Studies have found that erectile dysfunction is relatively uncommon in men who eat a traditional Mediterranean diet, which includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, olives and wine, particularly red meat (K. Esposito et al, 2006).

Exercise regularly

Exercising regularly will not only make you feel better, boosting your sexual self confidence, but can also help with weight loss, reduce high blood pressure, as well as stress and anxiety, improving overall health and well-being. Any form of aerobic exercise that increases your heart rate is beneficial, including cycling, running, brisk walking and swimming.

Engage your pelvic floor

Being fit will improve your performance in the bedroom too. Men have a pelvic floor, just like women, but very few men are aware that doing pelvic floor exercises can increase penile hardness and rigidity, improving the quality of your erections. It is recommended that you seek advice from a physiotherapist trained in men’s health to instruct you how to do these exercises correctly.

Using a penis pump

Often considered a gimmick, some penis pumps, such as the Bathmate Hydromax can help improve the size of your penis and quality of erections too. The saying “use it or lose it” is true and the penis needs to be exercised to keep it functioning properly.

By using a hydro pump for 15 minutes as part of your daily shower or bath routine, you can help avoid erectile dysfunction and improve your sexual performance.

Most men who regularly use penis pumps experience more pronounced growth in the girth of their penis than in the length of their penis, which many women find to be more important for sexual stimulation than overall length.

Wear a cock ring

Wearing a cock ring during sexual intercourse can increase the size of your penis and make your erection last longer. Cock rings come in many designs, from simple stretchy silicone rings like the Rocks Off Rudy Rings and Dr Rocco’s Cox’s Cog to vibrating rings such as the Je Joue Mio, which offers waves of vibrations through your penis and for your partner.

The Screaming O Combo Kit includes a Screaming O Charged Vooom Bullet vibe powered by a unique 10-function low-pitch motor that rumbles rather than buzzes for a deeper sensation and the two easy-to-use attachments.

You can slip the ABS plastic bullet into the very stretchy two-sided cock ring to enjoy vibrating enhancement with a partner, worn around just the penis or both penis and testicles, use the bullet in the finger sleeve to transform your fingertip into a powerful sex toy or just enjoy the bullet on its own.

They are not suitable for men who experience circulatory problems and should never be worn for more than 30 minutes.

Mix it up

Rather than being concerned about the size of his penis, couples should concentrate on talking to each other about what they both want sexually and explore new ways in which to enjoy sexual intimacy and pleasure, such as using sexual lubricant, incorporating sex toys into their sex play and trying new positions.

Explore ways to orgasm

The vagina stretches to accommodate whatever is put inside it, including the penis. It is the way in which you have sexual intercourse that matters, not size.Most men consider their penis size to indicate length, but many women prefer a penis that is shorter in length but larger in girth.

When a woman is close to orgasming, her vagina will constrict, squeezing and tightening around the penis. If you want to increase friction and tightness, try positions where the woman has her legs together.

If you also do pelvic floor exercises, this will tighten the floor of the vagina, making it feel tighter and your orgasms more intense.

The majority of women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, therefore penis size isn’t necessarily an issue. Learning how to stimulate your clitoris and showing your partner too, is important either through manual masturbation or using sex toys.

The G-spot, situated just inside the vagina, should not a problem for a smaller man. If your partner is struggling to orgasm during sexual intercourse, why not spend time more time on foreplay, enjoying mutual masturbation or using sex toys, you can enjoy an orgasm before having penetrative sex.

Sexual Positions for a smaller penis

Modified Missionary

The usual missionary position doesn’t allow for really deep thrusting and penetration so try Coital Alignment Technique (CAT).

This is a variation on the missionary position that stimulates the G-spot as well as the clitoris and encourages simultaneous orgasms.

You start out in the normal missionary position but with your partner resting his full weight on you, not on his elbows. Then he moves about two inches forward so that his pelvis is over yours. With your legs around his thighs, you press up as he moves backward so that you feel gentle but direct stimulation. The key is in the pressure and counter pressure and the rhythmic coordination of movement, a slow, gentle rocking, rather than thrusting in and out.

You have to be rhythmic, controlled — and patient, you never just ride or collapse.

When employing this technique, the base of his penis will directly stimulate your clitoris making it easier for her to orgasm and making the size of the penis a non-issue.This is a technique which gets better results with practice.

Doggy Style

This is the perfect position for a man with a smaller penis as it allows for deeper penetration, stimulating the G-spot and access to the clitoris during intercourse. Either your partner or yourself can rub your clitoris using their fingers and a small clitoral vibrator.

Modified Doggy style

Rather than being on all fours, lie on your front and allow your partner to penetrate you from behind but keep your legs together, effectively squeezing your vagina and making it tighter. Getting him to thrust both inwards and upwards, he’s likely to stimulate your G-spot too. You can even move against the bed to stimulate your clitoris at the same time.

On top

Taking control on top puts you in control as to how deep you want to go, the angle of penetration and offers the perfect amount of clitoral stimulation. Allowing deep penetration can increase G-spot stimulation too. Even better, a vibrating cock ring can be enjoyed by both of you, especially if you are on top. It will also make your partner bigger and harder which will intensify both your pleasure.

Swivel your hips

Whatever the position you choose, thrusting in and out will not offer you much sexual sensation so try swivelling your hips and grinding against his pelvic bone to stimulate both your clitoris and G-spot.

Using pillow, cushions or specially designed wedges that raise your hips will allow for deeper penetration.

Being creative with your sex life and getting your partner to improve his diet and lifestyle is your way to enjoying more pleasurable sex. It is what you do with it that matters, not how big it is: so stop worrying and start enjoying sex.