Menopause and Sex talks and events
Read about the author Samantha Evans
The impact of menopause upon your sexual health, pleasure, intimacy and relationships cannot be underestimated.
Many people struggle to seek advice because they are too embarrassed, assume this is part of menopause, they have to live with a less than satisfactory sex life or have been told this by their Dr or give up completely. Simply telling people to use lube or buying a tube of lube on the shelf in the high street shop or supermarket is not the solution because the vast majority of sexual lubricants and vaginal moisturisers contain many irritating ingredients that exacerbate intimate health issues and can even mask genital skin issues that require topical steroids. Yet practical help, advice and skin safe irritant free products can really help to transform intimate health and sexual pleasure.
Every day I give advice on the phone, by email or DM about enjoying pleasurable sex and good sexual health during perimenopause, menopause and post menopause because your sex life doesn’t have to stop, it can be even better during and post menopause. After all, sex is meant to be noisy, messy, embarrassing, consensual, pleasurable and most of all, fun.
Our health brochure is also given out by HCPs across the UK and in many menopause groups.
In addition to working with leading menopause experts and support groups I record videos for my Instagram account @samtalkssex including about the importance of looking after your intimate health, especially as you hit your 40s, how I look after my sexual health and how sex toys can help menopausal symptoms. I have recorded several Instagram Live videos with other people talking about menopause and sex, too.
I work with Diane Danzebrink who set up Menopause Support to offer advice to women throughout the menopause and beyond. She has both closed and open FB groups. Di started the #Make Menopause Matter campaign in 2018, an online petition with three aims:
1. Mandatory menopause training for GPs and for a mandatory menopause module to be taught at every medical school
2. Menopause support in the workplace
3. Menopause education in the PSHE school curriculum – this was achieved in 2020.
The petition has nearly 200,000 signatures. Please add your signature too.
Diane and I recorded two vlogs, one about pelvic health and one about sex and menopause, which you can find on her website Menopause Support.
Dr Louise Newson is a GP and medical writer with a particular interest in menopause and who set up My Menopause Doctor website offering comprehensive advice about getting the right HRT for your individual needs. She and her team created the Balance app, that offers comprehensive menopause advice, research and support. They also set up the Menopause Charity, offering free “Confidence in Menopause” training to healthcare professionals. I am part of the Menopause Charity.
Dr Louise Newson says
“Most of my patients do not have sex any more – such a shame. They change once their HRT is right. I am amazed how few women have sex and put up with it. Also don’t know how their husbands cope. They also often say they have never been asked about sex by anyone before and are pleased to have the opportunity to talk about it. I usually recommend Jo Divine”.
I recorded a podcast with Dr Newson about Sex and the Menopause, talking about intimate health including using suitable sexual lubricants and vaginal moisturisers, how sex toys can help you regain your sex life and how to talk to your partner about enjoying sexual intimacy and pleasure.
Books I have contributed to
I was thrilled to be mentioned as a resource for sexual intimacy and pleasure advice in addition to Jo Divine in Dr Louise Newson’s books, a Haynes Manual on Menopause – a definitive guide to help women, their partners and families cut through the plethora of misinformation and take a straightforward look at menopause and Preparing for the Menopause and Perimenopause
Menopausing by Davina McCall with Dr Naomi Potter
The M Word by Dr Philippa Kay
Cracking the Menopause by Mariella Frostrup and Alice Smellie. Alice and I had lots of fun talking all about sex and so much more for the sex chapter, which is excellent.
The Complete Guide to POI and Early Menopause by Dr Hannah Short and Dr Mandy LeonHardt. This book is so in-depth covering everything from medical and surgical information to diet, exercise, mental wellbeing, fertility and relationships. Such a valuable resource for those with POI and going through early menopause, who often struggle to find information and get the right diagnosis and support
“Need to let you know that ++ patients have been enormously grateful for the varied articles on your website. They’ve found them incredibly helpful, reassuring and less alone/isolated. Thank you for your work – it’s much appreciated, I can assure you!” Dr Hannah Short, GP Suffolk
Me & My Menopausal Vagina by Jane Lewis. Having been asked to review her book all I can say is if you have a vagina read it, if you know someone with a vagina read it and if you are a HCP, read it, it is brilliant!
Jane Lewis who set up Vaginal Atrophy FB group wrote an article for our website to help other women with Vagina Atrophy. We filmed a video about ways to enjoy sexual intimacy and pleasure when you have VA. Jane and I also recorded an IG Live.
Talks and Events
I’m so proud to have been part of Davina McCall Sex, Myths and the Menopause programme on Channel 4.
I was invited to give a talk at the Daisy Network Conference in June 2017 about sexual intimacy and pleasure. This is a amazing charity supporting women who have Premature Ovarian Insufficiency, younger women between 16-40 which leads to early menopause, the symptoms of which impact upon sexual pleasure and function, relationships and body confidence. I had a stand in 2018 and joined their online webinar in 2020. I have been invited to join them in September 2022.
In March 2019 I had a stand at the West Middlesex Menopause Symposium for both staff and healthcare professionals working in gynaecology. It was wonderful to hear the Occupational Health nurse suggest setting up a menopause support group for staff, as many women struggle with symptoms at work, some even having to give up their careers.
I joined Katie Taylor, founder of the Latte Lounge, and the panel of experts which included Liz Earle, Dr Louise Newson, Athena Laminsos, CEO of Eve Appeal, Diane Danzebrink and Jane Lewis to talk about menopause at the Eve Appeal charity event in July 2018
I gave an online talk to the North London NHS Trust menopause group.
I have recorded several IG Lives with menopause experts, which you can find on my IG account @samtalkssex
I am the sexual health and pleasure expert for M-Brace Menopause Facebook Group set up by the fabulous Sharon Dunsford
In June 2022 I was privileged to be invited to a fabulous Menopause event at The Portland Hospital in their new space designed for women and their families with Miss Claire Mellon and her associates and Newson Health Menopause Society.
It was such a pleasure to be in a room with so many leading Menopause doctors, gynaecologists and urogynaecologists.
I met Dr Annie Neale, a gynaecologist I have been working with virtually for several years which was lovely and connected with many other medical professionals including Miss Mellon and her team, all of whom are passionate about gynaecological and reproductive health.
Dr Louise Newson and Dr Rebecca Lewis shared their extensive Menopause knowledge, the incredible work they do and case studies of patients they have helped. The Long COVID study results were fascinating and clearly requires much more research.
Dr Rebecca Gibbs gave a very entertaining and informative talk about Vulval health, one of my favourite topics.
Dr Rachel Hines spoke about irregular bleeding, what the cause may be and getting it checked. It’s such an important issue and should never be ignored.
Dr Rav Khasriya talked about incontinence and UTIs. She runs the leading and only LUTS clinic at the Whittington Hospital which I have recommended to friends, family and customers who had chronic UTIs, all of whom have been treated successfully
On 13th June 2022 I was invited to join the Menopause Mandate in Parliament for a fabulous day, with so many incredible speakers and women sharing their experience of menopause.
Mariella Frostrup make me feel tearful with her opening speech but it was so great to listen to incredible speakers talking about their work and personal experiences of menopause.
Lisa Snowdon, a brilliant menopause campaigner, chatted with a Menopause Mandate supporter about the long struggle she had to get the right diagnosis and treatment for her symptoms due to the lack of training her GP had.
It was lovely to meet with Davina McCall again ( we finally got our photo!) who chatted with Dr Shahzadi Harper and Dr Juliette Balfour, both menopause doctors about why such distressing stories as shared on the menopause Mandate are so common and what can be done to ensure all patients receive the right diagnosis, support, advice and treatment.
We stopped for lunch and had a fun and noisy photocall in the great hall which entertained several visitors.
Carolyn Harris MP opened the afternoon session to talk about the menopause Mandate and our mission.
I finally got to meet the fabulous Alice Smellie who organised the event and is co-author of Cracking the menopause (Alice and I had long conversations during lockdown talking about sex for her chapter in the book). She chatted with Kate Muir, author of Everything You Need To Know About The menopause and producer of Sex, Myths and the menopause and Sex, Mind and The Menopause and Professor Henrietta Bowden-Jones OBE, President of Psychiatry at the Royal Society of Medicine, about the effects of menopause on mental health, and the brain.
Penny Lancaster, another fabulous Menopause Mandate campaigner, chatted with another menopause Mandate supporter about her menopause journey and the urgent need for GPs to be trained.
Professor Claire Anderson, President of the Royal Pharmaceutical Society and Dr Phillippa Kaye, author of the M Word ( which includes Jo Divine), talked about how GPs and pharmacists can work together to overcome HRT shortages. it was such a pleasure to finally meet Phillippa as we often chat on social media.
Finally, the Fawcett Society shares their recent report about menopause and the Workplace, which clearly demonstrates that employers have to so more to support their employees going through menopause as many are leaving their jobs, which is a huge loss of experience and highly trained people and an enormous cost to industry too.
It really feels as if change is coming at last. There are so many people, MPs, celebrities, grassroot campaigners and menopause groups working hard to ensure this happens, and together we will be the generation to Make Menopause Matter now and for future generations.
RCOG/IAPMD
I am also a member of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists Women’s Involvement Panel group where many of the members are women working in women’s health or who have personal experience of gynaecological issues who offer their advice, experience, review guidelines and patients leaflets published by RCOG and raise awareness about the work they are doing such as support groups, national campaigns and as patient advocates to improve gynaecological treatment and care.
I am also a member of the Surgical Menopause Advisory Committee for International Association For Premenstrual Disorders with Dr Hannah Short, Dr Nick Panay, Diane Danzebrink, Dr Malcolm Dixon and Andrea Chisholm
I was invited to talk to a support group via Zoom called See Her Thrive set up by the amazing Clare Louise Knox to help people with PMDD.