What gay women can teach straight women about sex

Read about the author Samantha Evans

According to a study by Professor Elizabeth Morgan from Boise State University (2015) most women are naturally bi-curious when it comes to sex.

Her study of 484 straight women found that 60% were sexually attracted to other women, 45% had kissed a woman and 50% had fantasies about the same sex. In addition, this orientation becomes more pronounced as a woman gets older.

Women are naturally curious about the bodies of other women, we all have the same body and know how it can feel when sexually stimulated. The female body feels so soft and smooth compared to that of a man, so offers a different sexual sensation under the fingertips. What woman isn’t curious about another woman’s breasts!

Research by Kinsey (2014) found that gay women orgasmed more often than their straight friends. The survey found that straight women had orgasms with their male partner 61.9% of the time whilst gay women said they orgasmed 74.7%. So what are they doing to enjoy all this extra sexual pleasure?

YES, YES, YES everytime

Research by Nichols (2013) found that heterosexual women don’t expect to have an orgasm, while women in gay relationships expect to orgasm every time. So if the expectation is that both partners will orgasm, time and effort is spent during foreplay and oral sex to make sure it happens.

The obvious reason why heterosexual women don’t orgasm as frequently is that straight couples focus on penetrative sex, yet many women do not orgasm from penetration alone. We all love clitoral stimulation with 70% of women climaxing in this way. So if we don’t get adequate clitoral stimulation during sex, the chances are we won’t come!

Research by Blair & Pukall (2014) of 822 participants between the ages of 18-79 found that there were lower levels of sexual frequency reported amongst the gay couples but the average length of sexual encounter was between 30-45 minutes, compared to 15-30 minutes in couples in different relationships.

Taking sex tips from lesbian couples

It’s not all about penetration

As there is no penis, sexual stimulation focuses on the clitoris, the most reliable way to get an orgasm. Clitoral stimulation can be a mystery to some men but giving them guidance on what feels good will get them hitting the right spot. Using a small clitoral vibrator can increase your level of sexual stimulation and show your partner exactly where to touch you.

Gay couples enjoy penetration too but use vibrators and dildos, which offer very different sexual stimulation to a penis- how many penises do you know vibrate! Sex toys don’t get tired or come too quickly either, neither do they experience erectile problems, although run down batteries can be problematic at that crucial moment which is why rechargable sex toys tend to be more reliable.

Good oral sex

Gay couples enjoy oral sex much more than straight couples and are much better at it.

Popular vlogger Arielle Scarcella asked the question “Why do straight women prefer penetration, while lesbians overwhelmingly prefer oral sex?” to 500 of her straight-identifying female viewers and 500 lesbian viewers, and found that 55% of straight women preferred penetration whilst only 25% of lesbian viewers felt the same.

A common theme for these results is that many of the women who prefer penetrative sex with men felt that oral sex requires a greater level of vulnerability, and that to receive pleasure without giving it in return is uncomfortable. Many women enjoy oral sex but don’t get it very often, whereas they are expected to dole oral sex to their male partner.

Take your time

Women generally enjoy exploring and slowly building up to their orgasm, they take longer than men but often a man will come and leave his partner unsatisfied or tell her to finish the job herself! A women will spend time with her female partner, stimulating her in many ways, from massage, oral sex, mutual masturbation and using sex toys.

Enjoy multiple orgasms

Some women enjoy multiple orgasms through straight sex but often they only have one.

Gay couples take turns, pleasuring each other in different ways. There is no beginning, middle or end, you can have as many orgasms as you can stand, rather than a man ejaculating being the finale!

Foreplay is fun

It is often thought that many men don’t like foreplay but this is not true. Some women don’t enjoy it and would rather go straight to intercourse. However, gay women are the masters of foreplay, spending time touching, kissing, sucking breasts and generally tantalizing their partner.

Post coital talk

Being in a same sex relationship, you may have more in common to talk about so pillow talk can be more interesting. Your man may not notice your new haircut, nail varnish or that you’ve lost a bit of weight but your female lover may be more observant.

Sex talk

Talking about sex with women can be informative and often they offer the best tips, especially gay women as they spend more time exploring different sexual sensations rather than sticking to the same routine in the bedroom. Gay women also know their way around the female body, as they have one of their own.

If you want to ramp up your sexual pleasure, try incorporating some of the ideas that gay couples do to enjoy sexual intimacy, they’re the experts of the female body!

Our sexual orientation can change as we age

A person’s sexual orientation is not set in stone as some researchers have discovered. Psychology professor Lisa M. Diamond wrote in her book, Sexual Fluidity about her research on 80 nonheterosexual women over a period of 10 years and discovered a significant number of the women had reported changing their sexual orientation during that time falling in love with a member of the opposite sex.

The same can happen for women who have been in long term relationships or marriages. Sheryl Kingsberg, PhD, division chief of ob-gyn behavioral medicine at University Hospitals Cleveland Medical Center says,

“We know of a number of women who have been in perfectly happy marriages with men, they raised a family, and at some point—in their 40s or so—they find themselves unexpectedly falling in love with a woman, without ever having thought that was possible,”

Skirt Club

If your curiosity about female sexual pleasure has been piqued, indulge in our erotic read The Birthday Party or you could consider Skirt Club, an all female environment where women, straight, bi or gay, single, in a relationship or married, come to play, discovering new sexual sensations and talk openly about sex that can only be found with women. Skirt Club offer a Mini Skirt taster evening to meet like minded women.

If tempted, read our bi-curious writer’s experience at her evening at Skirt Club – I think you’ll find she liked it.